The Bootylicious Diva Muse

O. 28 July 2008 Life, Savvy Sundays | Comments

We can talk about money, we can talk about fame, but when you get right down to the basics, all anyone really wants is love. We want someone in our life to feel that special something in their heart when it comes to us and to express that feeling to us so we in turn feel good about ourselves.

What I don’t understand though, is how so many people are seeking love but they don’t find themselves lovable. How does that work? You can’t make someone love you if you don’t love you. I know that sounds cliche, but it is indeed the cornerstone in the foundation of being loved by others. So how does one become more lovable?

5. Be the person that you want to hang out with.
So often I hear people say that they are out spoken, they tell it like it is, they don’t bite their tongue. I hear them say it with so much pride and I am always thinking, “Is that really a desirable quality to have?” Those who say yes are usually either like this or they have never been the one who is on the receiving end of that acid tongue.

You may pride yourself on being a certain kind of person, and it may be working for you and if it is, well that is good. But if you find that people avoid being around you or you find that you have had a series of bad relationships, perhaps it is because everyone that has been around feels as if your personality has been imposed upon them and no one likes being imposed upon.

Ask yourself, what type of person do I want to attract? Do I want someone who will listen to me? Do I want someone who is affectionate? Do I want genuine people in my life? Once you have figured this out, then start making an effort to be that person. Start listening more, start being more affectionate, actually be honest and genuine and let the true you shine through. Hopefully the true you is not offensive or mean or bitchy, but if that is what you want to attract then you should go with that.

You will find that once you open yourself up to some positive changes, and start reflecting the behavior that you want in a mate or friend, you will attract that very same thing into your life.

Pretty much you get what you give, so start giving what you want.

4. Have a sense of humor.
Yes, you are funny! We all have a sense of humor when we stop taking ourselves so seriously and actually let our hair down. No, you don’t have to laugh at every dumb joke, but then again, everything is not a matter of life and death either. If you are that person who can’t take a joke, or if you are one of those people who is easily offended, maybe you should reexamine that side of yourself.

No one wants to be around someone who is serious all of the time. We all have lives to live, problems, some of us have drama, but nobody loves a person who walks around with a huge serious chip on her shoulder. And chances are, if they do love you, they still may not want to be around you.

3. Actually Listen
I am the type of person who falls in and out of love all of the time. I fall in love with colors and dogs and flowers. I know this may sound crazy, but I love my life and I express love in many different ways. And the one thing that can make me fall in love with a person and want to be around them all of the time is that rare ability to listen.

For the first time in almost 19 years, hubby is learning to listen and it is making me feel very good about him. Admittedly, when he first did it, I thought that maybe he was high or something because there was this blank look in his eyes like no one was home. But he was actually listening to me.

Apparently when he was away at one of the schools that the Army sends him to, he took a test and it told him some things about himself, including that he needed to listen more. So he came back and started making the effort to actually listen to what I have to say. It has done wonders for the way we communicate and I feel so good having a conversation with him and being around him now.

If you are not a natural listener, if you tend to think about the next thing you are going to say while someone is talking to you, or if you talk while everyone else is talking, try just sitting back quietly and actually take in what the person is saying to you. If you practice this enough, and make it a quality that you possess, you will be amazed at how people will warm up to you, open up to you, and you might actually get them to tell you all of their juicy secrets as well.

2. Don’t suck up all of the air
Have you ever met that person that dominates every conversation, always has drama, always has to be the center of attention and always wants to make all of the decisions for everyone else? This person drives everyone crazy. This person drives herself crazy. This person can make a Soldier want to fall on his sword. Whatever you do, don’t be this person.

In relationships, any kind of relationship, things work really well when they are equal. The best relationships that I have had, romantic and otherwise have been the ones where I can talk to, confide in and make some of the decisions with the person that I am hanging out with, and he or she can do the same with me. Love is a wonderful thing when it is equal love. Successful relationships are really all about give and take.

1. Sometimes You Have To Pull A Greta
If you want people to love you, sometimes you have to be like the movie star Greta Garbo and just say, “I want to be alone.” Give people a chance to miss you. Give yourself a chance to miss them. Nothing is more attractive than a woman who has her own business and takes a break from the people around her to tend to that business. Even if that business is just going to get your nails done or turning off your cell phone while you spend the weekend by yourself, by the beach.

Added bonus, this will not only give you a chance to recharge your battery, but it lends an air of mystery. This is especially true for romantic relationships. Think about it, have you ever walked in a room full of people that you know and just didn’t say anything? You just walk in and go sit down. Before you have a chance to pull a chair out to sit down, people will be coming up to you asking, “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Why didn’t you speak?” All you did was just walk in the room quietly, but now they are all up in your face trying to figure out what is wrong.

Quiet and absent equal mysterious. Most people are nosy and can’t resist a good mystery. Use this to your advantage from time to time and I am sure your absence will make their hearts grow fonder.

Keep in mind that people can spot when you are being fake from a mile away. I am by no means telling you that you should be something that you are not. But you don’t have to change your personality to be someone that a person falls in love with. You just have to use the positives to make things happen the way you want them to.

We all want love in our lives, I think people are lying when they say they don’t or they really have not experienced true love. Whatever the case, being open to more love in your life and being the type of person who can attract that kind of love is always a good look.

Try loosening up, maybe tell a good joke this week or just listen to someone else for a change. I truly believe that something this simple could open the doors to life long love or friendship or even that professional boost you may have been looking for. Now that my darlings, would be truly bootylicious.

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