The Bootylicious Diva Muse

O. 25 July 2008 Relationships | Comments

I hear guys say all of the time that every time they find a girl that they are interested in, they always end up in the friend zone. A lot of guys feel that women are more interested in bad boy and abusive types and that nice guys really can’t get a break.

As a woman, I know for a fact that this is not true, but fellas, believe it or not, sometimes trying to convince you guys that this could possibly be something that you can fix and that it is not all on the women, is like pulling teeth.

Newsflash fellas, guys in this world can use a little help and guidance when it comes to relationships just as much as women can. We are not the only ones who are cooky when it comes to love.

So here are ten reasons that guys end up in the friend zone and some surefire tips from the Bootylicious Diva Muse, that will take you out of the friend zone and into that special girl’s bed, her heart, or wherever it is that you are trying to be.

10. What does your sense of style say about you?

Okay guys seriously, style is important. I know that it may feel good to go out in that ripped tshirt, board shorts and flip flops, but do you have the type of style that makes a girl want to date you or be seen out with you?

Guys tend to feel that any woman they date should look a certain way, well, ladies are no different. A girl wants a guy that she can show off, introduce to her friends, and be seen with. Being well dressed and well groomed will go along way in convincing a girl that sees you as just a friend that maybe you should be something more.

9. The Things That You Guys Say, Geez

Some guys come up with the worst pick up lines. “You must be tired because you keep running through my mind, or “I forgot my number, can I have yours?” Now, I know you’re thinking, “If I made it to the friend zone, she must have liked something about me.”

You’re absolutely right, she did. A really playful guy with a sense of humor would say these things and a girl loves to hang out with a guy who will make her laugh. But just because you make her laugh doesn’t mean that she wants to date you.

Chances are if she tells everyone while introducing you, the pick up line that you said upon first meeting her, she clearly can’t see you as anything more than a friend because she can’t get past the intitial meeting.

Start planning ahead to move beyond the friend zone before you even meet the girl that you may be interested in. Start by planning now to “NOT” use a corny pick up line and end up being “just friends.”

8. Understand the Buddy Call and Booty Call Connection.

A good thing to know about women, is the fact that just as men have the need for that woman in his life that he only uses for sex, or a booty call, women also have a need to have a man that she only uses as a buddy.

Think about it guys, some of y’all have that girl who you never call, never take out and never speak to unless you are going to get your rocks off, essentially, a booty call. Same thing with women. We have that one guy who we only call when we want to vent, have no one else to talk to, or need a man to help us move, fix the car, etc. This is called a buddy call.

Your booty call equals our buddy call.

If you are honest, then you know that there are some women who you will never see as more than a sex partner. You have to understand then, that there are also some women who are never going to see you as anything more than a buddy. Kind of evens the playing field doesn’t it?

7. What Do You Have Going For You?

You may be a perfectly nice guy. You may even be extremely attractive with a good body and amazing sexual prowess, but if you still live with your mother, are chronically in between jobs, or you are extremely cheap, face it, you are not ready to date anybody. In fact, you should insist on being in the friend zone until you can sustain a relationship.

6. What’s Up With the Skinny Blonde?

Why is it that every guy is after the same girl? If you are at a party or a club, everybody is gathered around that one blonde who is 6 feet tall, a size “2″ and has big boobs.

Okay, just in case you didn’t know, she can’t date everybody. If 20 guys are after her, someone is either going to end up in the friend zone or something illegal is going on and all of you guys are going to end up paying.

What I don’t get about this is, what is wrong with the brunette with glasses, or the red head with freckles, or the black girl with the big butt? Maybe if you all stopped going after the pseudo ideal girl, you will end up with a sexy freak on your hands who only has eyes for you instead of in the friend zone.

5. Your Reputation: Sorry, All Guys In the Friend Zone Are Not Nice

Just because you think you are nice, doesn’t mean that you actually are. If you travel in an intimate circle, chances are other girls are going to hear about what a hoe (I don’t mean garden tool) you really are.

No girl worth dating is going to be eager to be the girlfriend of a hoe. You may be in the friend zone because your reputation as a player may have preceded you.

4. Um, Did You Forget Something? Like the Relationship You’re Still In?

Okay this really speaks for itself. If you are married, or still in a relationship, you are not ready to be another girl’s boyfriend. It never ceases to amaze me how many guys feel as if they are entitled to start a new relationship when they are supposed to be committed to one already.

Any girl that likes you is not only being cautious, but she is extremely smart for keeping you in the friend zone.

3. You Actually Have To Do Something.

Okay, if you want the girl to actually see you as more than a friend, YOU actually have to do something about it. A lot of guys hang around and talk to a girl, but they never really make their intentions known. She may know that you like her, but if you are a really nice guy, not prone to making advances, or being overly forward, chances are she is probably not going to know that you even see her in that way.

I realize that a lot of modern women have taken to making the first move in relationships, but a lot of us are still old fashioned. She may want to take you out of the friend zone, but she may just be waiting for you to make the first move. You are probably thinking that because you call her and ask her out that she should know how you feel, but just as men love telling women that you are not mind readers…guess what….we aren’t either.

2. Eager Is Not Cute

A guy that is overly eager to hook up with the girl is probably the last thing that any real woman would ever respond to. It is not attractive at all. Being an eager guy to a woman is almost the equivalent to being a clingy woman to a man.

Now, as a man you know you will run like hell at the first sign of a woman who is always in your face, seeking your attention. Typically men find this to be very unattractive. Women feel the same way about an eager man who tries too hard and comes on too strong.

Come on fellas, be cool, eager is simply not a good look, which leads me to the number one reason guys end up in the friend zone.

1. Develop Some Swagger

Swagger, swag, that certain cool sexiness that drives a woman crazy. If you want to move from the friend zone, this is the number one tool in your tool box. A guy who is cooler than ice cubes, who knows how to be subtle yet get his point across, who knows how to make a girl feel as if there is no one else she would rather be with will go a long way with the ladies and probably never see the friend zone.

Chances are, if you are really serious about staying out of the friend zone and really are interested in having a real relationship, simple communication will take you further than anything else in the love game.

But then again, the friend zone is not always a bad place to be. In fact, if a man is smart, he should want to be there with at least one woman because it is a position that offers free insight into the secret lives of women if a man is willing to listen.

Stop seeing women as the enemy and start seeing us an asset to make your life as awesome as it can be. A man who really wants to get ahead will see us as not only lovers and sex partners, but friends, confidants, allies and equals as well.

When looked upon from this point of view, perhaps the friend zone is a necessary stop on the road to the relationship you are truly seeking.

As always, the Diva Muse is willing to give advice on any questions, issues, or problems you may be having. If you have a question feel free to leave a comment or email The Diva Muse at bootyliciousblogger@gmail.com

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