The Diva Muse

thedivamuse 22 July 2008 Ask the Diva Muse Comments

Angel Wrote

Angel

Dear Angel

Based on what you have told me about the relationship, the fact that you are not really sure if he is a player and the fact that you have put in four years with this guy, the first thing that I would suggest is that you take a step back and actually reassess your relationship with this man.

This is a good time to take the temperature of your relationship. Is it a hot, mutually satisfying, relationship that is going to a place that you both want? Or
is it a cool, one sided match that leaves one of you fulfilled and the other longing? You need to find out if this man that has you besotted and making mistakes is in fact a player. It is important to know this, not just suspect it before you do anything else. If he is not a player, then it is time after four years for you both to define your relationship and agree on where it is going and what it is that you both want from it. If he is in fact a player,
then you need to decide if this guy is worth anymore of your time and if he can give you what you really want from a relationship.

It is almost never too late to apply the rules of dealing with a player if you choose to go that route. If you have not been too clingy or have not brought a whole lot of drama to the situation, you can still pull back and go into that playette role, but you have to be prepared for what comes with that.

Dealing with a player more than likely will not bring you the long term committed relationship that many women are looking for. Keep in mind, if commitment is truly what you have been looking for and you know this guy just ain”t the one, you are in no way obligated to play the games that come along with a relationship with a player. Moving on is always an option and should be the desired one. Only time and communication will tell if this guy is the man for you.

In the meantime though, you should be honest with yourself and know for sure what is important to you. If this man does not fit in with the things that you want for yourself, then you should have no problems figuring out what you really need to do.

Hope this helps and have a great week.

The Diva Muse

And remember, whatever your dilemma, question, conundrum, The Diva Muse can help (and if she can”t, she will find the person who can).

Just submit your questions by email to bootyliciousblogger@gmail.com, and I will do my best to help you out with your problem.

Thanks so much and have a great day,