The Bootylicious Diva Muse

O. 10 July 2008 Bootylicious Rules | Comments

Do you love yourself?  I mean truly love yourself?  Do you give yourself the time, the care, the nurturing that you need?  Or are you waiting, looking, hoping for someone else to do it for you?

Love yourself!  I know this is a simplistic statement that we hear over and over again and at times it comes across as trite, and even condescending.  But when we look deeper, we have to admit that when it boils right down to brass tacks, most women are so busy loving everyone else, and nurturing everyone else, and looking to be completed by others that they don”t even know who they are, less than that, do they know how to love themselves.

Here are a few signs that you may not love yourself:

1. When you look in the mirror, do you see flaws instead of beauty?  If so, then you can”t possibly love yourself because those of us who love ourselves would never focus only on the negative things. We all have flaws, that is a fact, but there are also some things about us that are perfect. Why not focus on that instead? Most of us would never point out the flaws of a friend or a lover, so why do we treat ourselves so badly by focusing on them when it comes to ourselves?

2. Do you allow other people to treat you badly, even making excuses for them? This is not indicative of every woman that doesn”t love herself, however, it is very common for women to allow others to treat us as if we are less than because we don”t see ourselves as “good enough”.

3. Do you keep repeating patterns in love and friendships? Do you find yourself giving your heart away to people who don”t reciprocate your feelings or who aren”t capable of doing so?  Do you expect others to love you with the same intensity that you love them, and when they don”t, do you find yourself becoming despondent and depressed?  Do you find that you are giving way too much too soon in relationships, and not allowing the other person an opportunity to give back to you?

 4. Do you find that you are not yourself around the person that you love?  Do you feel as if you can”t express your true feelings or that you have to somehow conform to their expectations?  Do you find yourself mirroring their behavior? In relationships, do you lose yourself only to find that when the relationship is over, you don”t even know who you are anymore? Do you still do things that you like, even if no one else likes them or do you concede to the dominant person in the relationship because you don”t want to do anything to make them unhappy even at the expense of your own happiness?

5. Do you seek validation from others only to be disappointed when you don”t receive it? Are you desperate for compliments, kudos, recognition?  Do you participate in self destructive behavior in order to receive attention?

Of course not everyone will do everything listed here, but many of us can relate to some of these behaviors as women.  Ladies, it is 2008! We have moved far beyond the antiquated belief that a knight in shining armor is going to ride in on a white horse and rescue us and be everything to us.  We are independent, intelligent, sexy, bootylicious creatures. We should be defining our relationships, not letting them define us.  We should have hobbies that we do by ourselves, in fact, we should insist on this “alone” time.  We should be receiving just as many phone calls as we are making. We should be equal partners in every relationship that we allow ourselves to have. We should demand this equality and if it is not possible, then we shouldn”t be in this relationship.

We should be attracting love into our lives because we love ourselves so much that everyone else wants to feel what we feel. The love we have for ourselves should be filled with so much energy that we send vibrations out into the world that are so magnetic, men, women, friends, business opportunities, money, and of course love falls out of the sky and lands on our doorstep.

But every negative thought, every bit of lack of self confidence, every attention paid to some flaw in our bodies or character acts as love repellent leaving us incapable of doing nothing more than repeating the same deadly patterns in relationships and life that breeds a vicious cycle of depression, low self esteem and despair. Most definitely NOT a good look.

Misery may love company, but confidence, excitement, and happiness attracts it. A beautiful woman will turn heads, but a confident one will turn lives around.

Stop being miserable and become your own personal love magnet. Today, get rid of the negativity and the drama, and be the love that you want to receive. Relax and concentrate on you and not what is outside of you.  It may seem strange that telling myself that I love me, will make others love me as well, but I know for sure that it works.  If you are diligent, and focused inward rather than outward, I promise you will have so much love in your life, you won”t know what to do with it. You will look, feel and be, genuinely bootylicious and you will be genuinely loved.

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