You’re Probably a MILF If….
O.
7 July 2008
I can”t imagine that there is a person alive in America that doesn’t know what a MILF is. It is probably one of the most popular and positive acronyms to describe older attractive mothers to come our way in a long time. But I do take issue with the acronym in it’’s most popular form, so I have modified it to mean Mom I”d Like to Feel or Mom I”d Like to Freak, or even Mom I”d like to Fall in Love With for our purposes. I don”t know, I think it could work.
Anyway, I have been known to be called a MILF a time or two, and I have to say, that even though I can”t imagine ever being like the mother in American Pie where the whole idea began, I can”t help but think how flattering it is to be thought of as young and sexy. It can truly be a confidence booster, especially to a woman who is close to 40 and knows first hand how things don”t always stand up, stay in place, or flex as much as they used to.
So having said that, I thought that I would talk a little bit about how you know when you”re probably a MILF. Some sure signs to look out for and capitalize on. Please, feel free to cosign if you see yourself in any of these statements. Cosign, that’’s MILF speak for agree…yeah, I”m hip.
Okay, here we go:
You”re probably a MILF if…
1. …Your kids” male friends request to add you on Myspace.
2. …you”re out with your 14 year old daughter and people ask you if she is your sister.
3. …you go to a 21 and over club and a 22 year old guy follows you around and buys you drinks all night.
4. …your boobs still stand up without a bra and your butt has not dropped down to your calves.
5. …your kids keep asking you how old you are because even they forget you are almost 40.
6. …people look at you like you have two heads when you tell them you have a 17 year old.
7. …the 18 year old high school senior going door to door selling candy for his senior trip slips you his number.
8. …you can drop it like it’’s hot in the club and actually get back up without help.
9. …you know who LiL Wayne, Neyo and Chris Brown are, you know what a Bust It Baby is, some dude with a grill called you Shawty at the mall, and you know what to do on the special part of the song, “It’’s Goin Down”.
10. …five minutes after a very strenuous lovemaking session, you are ready to do it again.
11. …you can cook, line dance, and text message all at the same time.
And for my military wives…
You know you”re a MILF when your husband comes home at lunch time and wants to take off his boots. Boom Chicka Wah Wah!!!!!
When it comes to being young, a lot of it depends on our outlook on life. I truly believe that I am only as old as I think I am. As far as I am concerned, 37 is the new 25 and I have the added bonus of being a little wiser than I was then. If I am going over the hill, it is going to be on roller blades and a jet ski with a tennis racket in my hand wearing a thong. I am not going to act old because my driver’’s license says I am a certain age.
So to all my sexy sister MILFs out there, I am personally giving you all a virtual fist dap. Now put on your Apple Bottom Jeans and boots with the fur and go out, get carded, have a drink and drop it like it’’s heavy.
Until next time ladies, keep it sexy and always bootylicious!!
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